The Boy Child, Who Cares About Him?

 Many times we see groups, NGOs talk for and about the GirlChild. We hardly ever hear any talk about the BoyChild. This is not to say that there is anything wrong with talking for and seeking the wellbeing of our girls, admitted, girls are more vulnerable.

But aren't our boys equally vulnerable? It's about time we pay equal attention to the BoyChild as well.

Growing up as a young girl in a town called Mamponteng in the Ashanti Region, I seemed to be more enlightened than children of my age in that part of the world. I was very observant, clever (at least that's what I heard some adult say about me many times), assertive and Godfearing. I was one of the favourite little girls in the Catholic church there. I took part in almost every church activity. In fact, I was the first child to be part of the adults' choir. I remember returning home from church with gifts especially cash almost always.

My little brother on the other hand who was seen as 'stubborn' never received any gifts as far as I can remember. Neither did any of my male cousins.

Also, in that community, I remember boys were easily attacked and accused of wrongdoings right at the spot of any little or big chaos without investigations.

If a boy did something wrong you would see 'anyone' spank him, slap him or rain insults at him. That was not the same for the girls.

If a boy was accused of wrongdoing by even a girl of the same age, he was easily taken on without given a fair hearing.

Where there were no proper parenting for some children usually siblings, you would see the boy(s) almost always looked hungry and tattered, that wasn't always same for the girl(s). Because natural help easily comes to girls compared to girls. You would see girl been handed gifts while the boy is told 'C'mon go and bath' etc and he gets nothing usually.

I have seen boys being humiliated at the slightest opportunities, just because he is a boy.

A boy in not-so-good clothes would easily be accused of theft and the likes as compared to a girl in a similar kind of clothes.

Even in Almighty USA, many boys have been accused of rape and murder and have spent years in prison only to be told the 'victim' has confessed of wrongful accusation.

What about the recent shootings? They are done by boys, boys who were depressed because they were either abandoned and/or lacked parental care and guidance.

Is it not strange how girls who go through similar challenges of life don't go about shooting and bombing just because they are depressed?

You see why we must begin to pay more attention to the boys also if not rather?

Boys cause more harm to society when they are neglected and go wayward. They kill, rob, destroy innocent lives.

Oh, and you have absolutely no idea how many boys are raped at a young age. They keep to themselves and suffer just because no one will listen to them, let alone believe them.

Today, reflecting on the things I observed growing up and a few I have observed in my semi-adult years, I want to begin a challenge for as many young men and women of our generation to be ADVOCATES, ADVISERS, ROLE MODELS, COUNSELORS, etc for the BOYCHILD also as we would the GIRLCHILD.

Let us teach the boychild that;

* Find someone you can trust and talk to when you have a challenge.

Don't listen to those who say men don't cry. Cry out if and when you are in need of help. Not everyone will call you a stubborn or bad boy. Someone will listen to you, put himself/herself in your shoes, understand you and advise you.

* The feeling you are having as an adolescent is natural and normal. Control yourself and don't go raping or harassing girls when your body is misbehaving. That may take you to jail and waste your life.

* Take responsibility for your actions. Having sex at a young age is wrong but if you do and impregnate your fellow school mate or girl at your age, do not neglect her to go through all the humiliation and suffering all by herself.

* Do not go having sex when you are not ready to take responsibility.

* As you grow up and have a wife and/or father children, take responsibility and never neglect your children as you surely regret it in old age.

* Do not waste your time, energy and money (whether hard earned or inherited) on women and alcohol.

* A man at age 60 doing a menial job looks more miserable than a woman of that age doing same or similar job.

* Save and invest in the right things.

* Do not accept just anything that life throws at you. Decide you want to be somebody. Do not fall prey to weed smoking, armed robbery and the likes.

*Have dreams and work at them.

*Learn to do chores, at least washing your own dishes and clothes.

*Do not grow up not knowing no house chores so you don't go enslaving your wife in future.

*Learn to cook little and easy meals at least for your own self.

* Do not in any way undermine or underrate women under any circumstance.

We are humans first, before male or female. What is good for the goose is good for the gander.

By Helena Adutwumwaa Bonto