Save the Boys Initiative

He ordered them to kill every male child... Mat 2:16 The attack on the male child has been a long ragging battle and it is an attack against the purpose of God. From Adam to Moses, to Jesus, there has always been a contention to wipe out the males. This shows there is a fundamental place the man occupies in fulfilling God's agenda on earth and until our eyes are open to the schemes of the enemy and victory won in this battle, we will only keep moving in an unending circle of pain and reproach. No wonder the evil existing in the lives of our boys and the grip of darkness over them. The rate at which they are involved in all manner of social ills is alarming and we don't seem to understand the schemes of the enemy. It is an orchestrated battle and we must arise to save them if we desire to see God's agenda fulfilled in our generation. If we must win the battle against the enemy at the gate and reclaim our God-ordained heritage, then we must equip our boys a...

My heart bleeds each day with different stories of men who are terribly broken due to the ripple effect of sexual abuse. A lot are deeply struggling with wild range of unquenchable sexual desire as a result of this scar. I am pained to see our women and girls suffering severe abuse, violence and rape from these broken men. Boys are one of the most sexually abused sets of people but since they are boys, have a penis and look stronge r, nobody believes them, no one feels it damages them. They think we enjoy it. So many men today are sex addicts simply because they started experiencing sexual pleasures from a very tender age of 4-9 years by older ladies, aunties, sister's friends, older neighbours, maids and even school teachers who got them involved in sexual activities, and as a result making them addicts and sex freaks. They are emotionally damaged to the point that they hardly recognize themselves as they sleep around. Some men now hate sex or prefer men to women. We call ...

Boys’ self-confidence is also at risk because of gender stereotypes, which leave them, too, feeling inadequate when they believe they don’t meet expectations, and gives them few outlets to express their feelings. “There’s this myth that boys don’t have as many feelings or they’re not as emotional,” says Rachel Busman, PsyD, a senior clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. “These are misperceptions. We need to be more nurturing of our boys, as well.”

I grew up in the church and had Christian morals. At a very tender age, we had a neighbour who was a very close friend of mine. When our parents were out, we would always play together; acting drama, touching ourselves carelessly, acting sex in the drama. Being both boys we enjoyed it but we didn't know what we were doing and where we were quietly heading to. We never thought it will have any negative effect on us when we grow up. This continued for a while and at age 12, I discovered that I started having feelings for same-sex and I just couldn't love a lady.  I tried severally but it just didn't work out. As time passed, I started getting irresistible sexual advances from my barbers and mother's driver. It started getting complicated for me. As a result, I became an angry and aggressive boy. I began to sexually molest other boys. I stayed in this mess and suffered the trauma for 12 years until finally I opened up, spoke to someone in the fellowship who c...

Let us teach the boychild that; * Find someone you can trust and talk to when you have a challenge. *Don't listen to those who say men don't cry. Cry out if and when you are in need of help. Not everyone will call you a stubborn or bad boy. Someone will listen to you, put himself/herself in your shoes, understand you and advise you. * The feeling you are having as an adolescent is natural and normal. Control yourself and don't go raping or harassing girls when your body is misbehaving. That may take you to jail and waste your life. * Take responsibility for your actions. Having sex at a young age is wrong but if you do and impregnate your fellow school mate or girl at your age, do not neglect her to go through all the humiliation and suffering all by herself. * Do not go having sex when you are not ready to take responsibility. * As you grow up and have a wife and/or father children, take responsibility and never neglect your children as you surely re...

 Many times we see groups, NGOs talk for and about the GirlChild. We hardly ever hear any talk about the BoyChild. This is not to say that there is anything wrong with talking for and seeking the wellbeing of our girls, admitted, girls are more vulnerable. But aren't our boys equally vulnerable? It's about time we pay equal attention to the BoyChild as well. Growing up as a young girl in a town called Mamponteng in the Ashanti Region, I seemed to be more enlightened than children of my age in that part of the world. I was very observant, clever (at least that's what I heard some adult say about me many times), assertive and Godfearing. I was one of the favourite little girls in the Catholic church there. I took part in almost every church activity. In fact, I was the first child to be part of the adults' choir. I remember returning home from church with gifts especially cash almost always. My little brother on the other hand who was seen as 'stubborn...

Dear Parents,  You've home trained the girl child very well. You've inculcated good habits in them. You've groomed them well. They are focused and are excelling. They are been adequately prepared for marriage.  Thank you.  Now can you please turn and face the boys. I don't know the kind of men we are raising these days.  Tell your boys they won't die if they pick their plates and wash them after eating.  Tell them they won't suffer stroke if they sweep and mop the house.  Teach them how to cook too, it won't reduce their manhood.  Tell them they won't have hypertension if their rooms are kept clean. Tell them it is not a bad thing for them to wash their clothes.  Tell them their skin won't peel off if they bathe at least twice daily and their teeth won't fall off if they brush at least twice daily!  Tell them it is decent to wash their boxers once or twice after using them! Tell them it ...

The Senate has taken the second reading of a bill seeking to remove gender restrictions in the offence of rape and related matters. If passed, the bill will formally recognise men as victims of rape as applicable. The bill also seeks to remove the statute of limitation on defilement, while it also seeks increased punishment for kidnapping.  Introduced by Senator Oluremi Tinubu (APC-‎Lagos Central) at the Senate plenary on Tuesday, the SB2 is “A Bill for an Act to amend the Criminal Code Act CAP C38 LFN 2004 to delete the Statute of Limitation on defilement, increase in punishment for the offences of kidnapping, remove gender restrictions in the offence of rape and for related matters, 2019 (SB. 2).” This is highly commendable and we pray for a smooth process in the passage of this bill into law. Our boys need help too and the protection. Save the Boys Initiative

Men are also more physical and tend to work out their emotions by finding solutions and doing things. The harm is when men keep stuffing all their feelings inside, letting them simmer and brew, and potentially eat away at them, eventually coming out as anger. There are tremendous benefits to getting your thoughts and emotions out in the open, in the context of a safe relationship, and not letting them destroy you.

Unfortunately, society has told men it’s a sign of weakness to express their feelings while it’s much more socially acceptable for women to talk about their feelings. That may be a reason why so many more men end up with heart attacks…they tend to hold everything inside.

Your son needs to know that, ultimately, he is the one in charge of how he reacts to his feeling s. Dr. Meeker explains that, when boys are still young, as part of their emotional development, they need to learn that while their feelings can be intense, they do not need to be ruled by them. In fact, she says that moms can put it this way to their sons,  “Are you going to allow your feelings to dominate your decisions, or are you going to take charge of them?”  Here’s how to teach your son to handle his emotions in a constructive way. Put a name on them. Before your son can deal with his emotions, he needs to identify them. So while it may seem like he’s angry at his father about being late to his ball game, the actual feeling underneath the surface is sadness. Teach him to look beyond the surface emotion to what lies deeper. Green-light the feeling. Try not to make your son feel guilty for his emotions. As Dr. Meeker says, “…they can feel st...

  We feel.  Save us.  we need help “Boys grow up in a world inhabited by a narrower range of emotions” ―Dr. June Gruber and Dr. Jessica Borelli In a study examining conversations between mothers and young children, mothers interacting with daughters employed emotion vocabulary of greater density and depth, whereas conversations with sons tended to focus primarily on a single emotion(anger) Regardless of whether gender differences in adult behaviour arise from conscious or unconscious psychological processes, one thing is clear: Boys grow up in a world inhabited by a narrower range of emotions, one in which their experiences of anger are noticed, inferred, and potentially even cultivated. This leaves other emotions, particularly the more vulnerable emotions sorely ignored or missing in their growing minds. This is all the more concerning given that research from Harvard Medical School shows that boys are in fact more emotionally expressive...

T he Broken Boy Soul Also Weep, We encourage a narrower range of emotions in boys than girls which can be harmful to Boys in the long run. Many boys have exactly two speeds when it comes to emotion: They are "okay," or they are "angry." Many parents are shocked at how quickly their sons become belligerent, but it should come as no surprise. Anger is culturally acceptable for boys (and men) and creates its own set of problems. A lack of emotional diversity is not just important for young boys but continues to be so as emotionally restricted young boys mature into adult men with more rigid emotional repertoires. Experiencing the full range of emotions may not only benefit young boys’ psychological health but have far-reaching benefits for society at large. Because boys are sometimes prone to anger and aggression, it is wise to model being calm and respectful when dealing with problems. Take a cool-off if you must, but avoid yelling and anger, and remember tha...

Every boy needs the supportive relationships they need to grow and develop into thriving, productive and engaged adults .

Men are also more physical, and tend to work out their emotions by finding solutions, and doing things.  The harm is when men keep stuffing all their feelings inside, letting them simmer and brew, and potentially eat away at them, eventually coming out as anger.  There are tremendous benefits to getting your thoughts and emotions out in the open, in the context of a safe relationship, and not letting them destroy you. There are differences between the genders. Each side needs to do the best they can to understand and deal with the opposite sex, rather than get frustrated about the differences. We ought to celebrate them. Just think, what if there were all women in the world, and no men? Or all men in the world, and no women? The world wouldn’t be a very fun place, would it? Credit: Dawson McAllister

And because he is a boy, he is safe and can be left with anybody. What? fallacy! Our society has been wrapped around with this lie. Little wonder, so many boys are left unguarded. Why the carelessness with the boys? Why the believe they will always find their way around things? Dear Parent/guardian, This is how so many boys are left in the hands of the unbridled house helps neighbours, relations, teachers and friends which results into plunge into an unending well of sexual immorality, drugs, waywardness and all manner of illicit behaviours, because of careless thoughts and actions. And it's so sad that by the time it dawns on us, our precious boy is lost! The society is in trouble because we have a lot of irresponsible men who cannot keep a family talk less of an institution or nation. The boys today will become men, husband and leaders tomorrow! What exactly are they learning? Who exactly are they learning from? Who is watching over our sons? And to my boys, wh...

Our boys need us. Many are getting lost in the transition from childhood to young adulthood. Many are making the wrong choices, and the long-term consequences are troubling. Recent research shows that boys are "more likely to drop out of school, less likely to go to college, and far more likely to abuse alcohol or go to prison or commit suicide" What can we do as parents, teachers, mentors and guardian? Mentoring Early and Often... We need to mentor our boys from the very beginning. We need to make learning active and exciting. And while we are doing all these things, we need to get down on their level, look them in the eye, and tell them that we expect the very best from them. They need to know that we are there for them. They need to know that we are serious about their success. And they need to know that a man honours his responsibilities to his fellow man. Save the Boys Initiative and Men Connect Mentoring Community, we do this and more. Tell a boy...

Responsible Men are great planners. Do you have your short and long term goals?

LETTER FROM A BROKEN SON Dear Dad, Where are you? You've given me so many scars that are so deep. You told me I was useless and that I should never have been born. I spend every day trying to overcome the damage and emptiness you caused. No matter how hard I try to accomplish things, you always stay in the dark corners of my heart telling me it's not good enough. The vacuum in my heart is filled with memories of you. This emptiness has led me to the street and opened me up to wild habits; I am now a shadow of myself. It is with a heavy heart that I write this, not understanding why you have chosen to take this path turning a blind eye to the pain you are causing. Your actions have broken my heart into a million pieces. Daddy, please can you spare me some time and listen to the longing of my heart for you? You are supposed to be my mentor and hero but you are absent. Please, come, walk alongside me Daddy and hold my hand. There are so many things I don't ...